I just got back from my audition for the Shakespeare Festival of Dallas. I think it went pretty well. I ended up going with the Two Gents monologue that I did this past summer. I learned a Henry V monologue, but as I was practicing it this morning it just wasn’t ringing true. I knew I needed my NITS buddies to workshop it with me, so I ditched it and stuck to familiar material.
I walked in and stood before a panel of ten or so people. They’re casting the summer shows (Romeo and Juliet, Love’s Labour’s Lost), the fall show (Macbeth), and two staged readings at theatre festivals in the spring (Titus Andronicus, The Rape of Lucrece), not to mention some sonnet reading program they’re doing in April. They’ll be casting four billion people, so I’ll be a little ticked off if I don’t get anything.
I announced my piece and dove right into it. Hopefully I was the only auditioner who took off his shoes and had a tug-of-war with an imaginary dog. I stood up at the end and quickly put my shoes on, and they asked me to sing something (apparently, LLL will have music). I didn’t have a song prepared, so they asked me to sing “Happy Birthday.”
Fine. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear—“ Who? The song has to be sung to someone specific! When faced with a difficult dilemma, I opted to take the low road.
“Happy birthday dear Anna Nicole Smith, happy birthday to you! And many moooooo—oh, right.”
Enormous groans are good things from people casting a play, right?