A Man Without a Country

During staff development yesterday, they announced an afternoon department meeting. I showed up at 2:00 in the choir room for the fine arts meeting. The choir teacher came up to me with a confused look on his face.

"I was looking at my list," said Mr. Overbite, "and you're not on it."

"Oh?"

"Are you teaching theatre this year?"

"I doubt it."

"Is public speaking in another department?"

"Well," I said, "Dr. Bouffant is the one keeping me from doing what I love, and as since she's the head of fine arts for the district, that tells me she must hold some authority over me. So I'd say I'm still in fine arts."

"Well, you're not on my list."

I went back to my room to work, and Mr. Overbite stopped by a half hour later.

"Hey, I talked with the principal, and she says you're in the ELA department now."

"What the hell is an ELA?"

"It stands for English Language Arts."

So apparently, even though I am not certified in English, and I only took four English classes in college, I am now in the English department. No one in the English department came looking for me yesterday, which is fine by me. Hopefully this means I'll be a department of one until I can manage to find another job.