Real Live Conversation Upon My Re-Entry
I. Swear. To. God. This story is real.
I spoke to my friend Beth just now for the first time since returning home. She is a former colleague and a wonderful friend.
After exchanging the niceties that happen after a month's absence (Yes, I had a wonderful time. I had unimaginably deep experiences. So much so that I might not even be myself anymore. "Jennifer is the name the pigs gave me. Call me Tania."), she clearly has business to share.
"Sister, you have missed the news!! There has
been a bigfoot sighting in Southeastern Oklahoma!! (I'm not giving you
the Daily Oklahoman article because you'd have to register with them.)"
By this time, her hysterical laughter makes it impossible to understand
her, it's something like "Phlroggy Bottom!! Right by my Uncle's house!!!"
"What!? Froggy Bottom? Boggy Bottom?"
"BOGGY BOTTOM!! It's been in the paper. There's people who
say it's a guy in a costume, but why would someone dress in a costume in 100+
degree heat in an area so remote he might now be seen?"
"Unless it's just a cry of love for your uncle."
"Which it's not. So the only question is when do we go!?"
The answer, friends, is not this weekend. Rest assured that if I do go, there will be pictures and we will be but one step closer to the age old question, "Am he real?!".