Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Why I'm Mad Today

I pulled one of my students aside today to ask her why she's been missing so many rehearsals for the musical. I absolutely adore this girl - smart, confident, independent, mature, funny, just an awesome kid. Anyway, I pieced together from our conversation that she's been skipping rehearsals to be home with her mom since her mom 1) is a drug addict, 2) is mentally unstable, 3) has attempted suicide in the past and is threatening to do so again, and 4) is currently being tested for breast cancer. Basically, this 14-year-old is terrified that if she's not there every minute, her mother's going to die. To top it off, though, the girl also feels immense guilt because she's skipping rehearsals. When I tried to reassure her about that, she told me that she feels even worse because when she skips rehearsals to be with her mom, she doesn't go "where [she] should." So, she misses rehearsals to be with her mom, but can't handle that emotionally so she goes somewhere else instead and feels even worse for letting down more people.

I love this girl, and I don't see how this can possibly end well. Either 1) mom sticks around, and the girl stays with her out of guilt and misses on the potential of having a life of her own (and what a life it could be!), or 2) mom dies and the girl has to go through that particular hell, or 3) mom lives and the girl leaves her, but has to deal with the guilt of that independence.

I hate that she has to be dealing with this kind of stuff. Believe me, I know that part of the reason why she's such an awesome kid is because she deals with this kind of stuff, but I really, really wish I could take this away from her, if only for a little bit.

So, doing one of the few things I can for her, could you keep my girl in your spare thoughts this week? She could use some "green world" wishes from others, even if she is totally unaware of you, my friends. Of course, I ask this knowing very well that you all have your own dear ones to worry about. Which is why today's model of Very Bad Parenting is not a surprise to me, just an all too sad refrain.


At 1:22 PM, Blogger Walker said...

I'm sending green thoughts to both you and her.


At 8:38 PM, Blogger educat said...

Done. And more thoughts for you.


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